Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO
buying a large bag of Purina dog chow
for my loyal pet, Molson the Wonder Dog, and was in the
checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do. On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting
the Purina Diet again... I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up
in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told
her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your
pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to
mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore..
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the
world to think of crazy things to say.
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